The Invisible Mom

A dear friend of mine posted this on a site I created. Thank you Sonya, this is a wonderful tribute to mothers everywhere.

I feel sometimes that I’m being taken for granted, sometimes stepped on and often invisible. No one sees how much time Stay at Home Mom’s spend interacting with our children, how many diapers we change, and how much work goes into the handmade food I give him.  Very few people know how many times we play peek-a-boo, watch Elmo on sesame street, or how many times I help him stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down–Let alone be: pooed on, peed on, thrown up on, scratched, pinched, kicked and punched.  Some times my selfishness gets the best of me and I find myself longing for my old life just for a moment. But when I look down and see this smile, I know that it is worth it:

Nov 22 8.5 months (3)

THE INVISIBLE MOTHER

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of
response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room
while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.
Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on
the phone?’ Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on
the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even
standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me
at all.

I’m invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a
pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie
this? Can you open this? Some days I’m not a pair of
hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to
ask, ‘What time is it?’ I’m a satellite guide to
answer, ‘What number is the Disney Channel?’ I’m
a car to order, ‘Right around 5:30, please.’

I was certain that these were the hands that once held
books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that
graduated summa cum laude – but now they had disappeared
into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s
going, she’s going, she’s gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating
the return of a friend from England .. Janice had just
gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and
on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there,
looking around at the others all put together so well. It
was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was
feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a
beautifully wrapped package, and said, ‘I brought you
this.’ It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .

I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me
until I read her inscription: ‘To Charlotte , with
admiration for the greatness of what you are building when
no one sees.’

In the days ahead I would read – no, devour – the book. And
I would discover what would become for me, four
life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
no one can say who built the great cathedrals
We have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives
for a work they would never see finished. They made great
sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their
building was fueled by their faith that the
eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came
to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw
a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He
was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so
much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered
by the roof? No one will ever see it.’ And the workman
replied, ‘Because God sees.’

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into
place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me,
‘I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make
every day, even when no one around you does. No act of
kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no
cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and
smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you
can’t see right now what it will become.’

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction But it
is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for
the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote
to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective
when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people
who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to
work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no
cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there
are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don’t want my child to
tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for
Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and
bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for
three hours and presses all the linens for the table.’
That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to
myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if
there is anything more to say to his friend, to add,
‘You’re gonna love it there.’

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be
seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very
possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we
have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the
world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!

Wordless Wednesdays #3

mission hill winery

Mission Hill Winery, British Columbia

Home of the famous smallest  20$ salad. This salad was ordered by my brother in law after his long flight to Kelowna. how impressed was he..Let’s just say he was NOT. He went to Boston Pizza afterwards to have some real food.

If you aren’t at the gym to work out, GO HOME!

I have a beef. It’s a big one, and it bugs the crap out of me everytime I’m at the gym.

First of all, my current gym of choice is the YMCA.  Maybe that’s where my problem lies. Secondly, the gym is beside a high school. But for the record, the time of the day that I go work out is around 8 PM… long after school is out.

Tonight, for example, two young teenage boys ran around the work out area, hopping from one machine to another, on broken ones too, and at one point went on a treadmill and put it to the fastest setting, making the largest racket and almost killing himself.  Do you think anyone working there did anything about it? No.  You could see all the adults in the gym giving the kids the dirty eye, but alas that’s as far as it went.

Another example. Teenage girls.  More then a few times they congregate together on the machines and “work out” for about 5 minutes and then stop and chat, and then move to another area and do this again, and then go back etc, you get the picture.  More then a few times these girls actually stop “working out” and just stand on the machines when the gym is FULL.

Now I’m all for young people having a place to go, and I’m not saying all teenagers just go to the gym to socialize because i’m sure there are quite a few who actually do go to get and stay healthy but those who aren’t there to get healthy, go to another area or at least get off the damn machines!

Ahh! That feels better.

The Demolition of an Old basement

We have finally had enough of our crappy basement from the 50′s and finally decided to do something about it. 

When we first moved in, we had high hopes for this basement. But what we realized is that neither of us know how to do many handy things around the house, let alone have the desire.  When we took down the fake bar thing in the corner (what it was for is beyond me) we found about 200 time magazines shoved behind there.. and thankfully no mice. We also found Electricity 101, and that is the foundation this house was built on. Whenever the job needed doing, the previous owners (I will refer to him as the “old man”) really skimped out on things. 

image

For example. I was trying to put new Christmas lights up and exchange the ones that were stapled to the roof. Well when I got to the end of the roof where it turns into a corner, the old man simply CUT the wire because he didn’t want to string anymore lights. You may ask, did he put anything on the wire to seal it? No, it was a live wire on my roof.

So in the demolition of this basement we find newspaper serving as insulation, we find a thin mask of insulation on half the walls, half of them there’s nothing. And we find this:

DSC04548

And this:

DSC04553

Yes there was crap in every orifice they could shove it into. There were glass panes, there were a few silver dollars, some plaque about God.  It amazes me the crap people would keep vs throw away!

I will continue to update you all on the reconstruction of the basement. As it now stands, it’s very empty and bare.  Gosh, I should have just bought a new house LOL

Photo Meme

My dear blogger friend at Lip Zip posted this cute meme she got from Tropic of Mom.

Here are the rules!  Take the 6th File Folder in your Pictures folder, and pick the 6th picture and post it.

Sorry Richelle and Mel :)   My 6th folder was actually empty so I deleted it and found that my baby shower was the 6th file folder.

Family Baby Shower 006

This is at the baby shower my Mother In Law threw for me, and this is one of my best friends (in brown) and my brother’s girlfriend (in pink).

 

Enjoy!