The stat they post in the article says that,

Twenty years ago the average fashion runway model weighed 8% less than the average woman, today she weighs 23% less.

Now, you might say, well twenty years ago the average woman weighed less than she does today, and you may be right, but look at this photo.  This is a runway model who is likely forced to be anorexic to keep her size, and a Russian model who is a US size 12.

You be the judge, who is more beautiful?

To me, the “plus” sized model looks healthier and sexier.

So why as women do we only celebrate being sexy when we are “thin?”  here is another photo from the article:

Many women are not between size 6-8, and there is a lot of controversy as to what qualifies as a plus sized model these days. However, if you are healthy as in; you exercise regularly and eat sensibly, you may not look like models on the covers of cosmo and the like, but it does not mean you are not sexy. –holy run on sentence batman!  There are people out there who say that Plus Sized models support women being obese but the model makes the point that the industry should not support anorexia or obesity, and that beauty comes in various sizes.

Many women struggle after giving birth with reclaiming their sexuality because quite frankly their bodies are DIFFERENT.  Not worse, just different. They may have stretch marks AKA battle scars, saggy boobs or leaky boobs, deflated stomachs, C section scars and the list goes on—wow I’m making post baby bodies sound delightful, aren’t I? But keep in mind, we created another human being!  It’s not like you sat around on the couch for 9 months eating bon bons.  And we have to get our minds around that this may be our new “sexy” body, you have to work with what you’ve got.  Guess what, your husbands (if they are not assholes) still find you beautiful, even if you do not. It is harder to get back in shape after having a child but it is not impossible, but you must make yourself a priority.

Remember ladies, beautiful women come in all sizes, celebrate the sexy you now! Sometimes, some new sexy lingerie helps Just sayin’.

I googled this a few times when I was expecting for the second time and did some ridiculous online quizzes that told me nothing. So I’ve come up with 5 questions we all ask ourselves when we’re thinking of having another baby or worry about when we are already pregnant with number two.

1) I already love my first born so much, will I love the second as much?

Yes! And ladies, your husbands worry about this one too. You will love this new little baby as much as you love your first, but you will love them differently. Loving them differently allows you to love them just as much. Once you birth your baby via section or vaginally, you will fall in love all over again with your wee babe.

2) My kid already drives me insane a lot of the time, how will I handle two?

It’s hard. I won’t lie. You will be exhausted and pulled in so many directions. My suggestion? If you have an older child that old enough for preschool, send them to preschool. If you have the cash flow enough to still do daycare, do daycare. I’m not saying to do this full time, but it will give you a much needed break a few days a week so you can bond with your new babe, and get a nap in.

But there were points when our oldest drove us nuts and I thought, OMG I’m going to have to do this again?…AND deal with another child? WHAT DID I DO?! But you know what? My oldest is my baby’s favourite toy, and the first time your baby laughs at your oldest… will make your heart melt. It’s worth it. Remember that if your oldest child is sleeping through the night, you will have to get sleep deprived all over again, starting over with a newborn is hard—did I say that already? But if it’s any consolation? My first was a very spirited baby (aka—he didn’t sleep, and drove me batty for the first 3 months) and my second is an “angel” baby. He sleept well from the get go, and is generally a low maintenance baby. Your life is also different the second time around, you’re already used to having no—or very little of—social life, I was also used to functioning on very little sleep. I coped with becoming a mom the second time MUCH better. The first time I questioned everything I did, this time, it felt natural.

3) How will my older child adjust? is there anything I can do to help them adjust?

There is no way of knowing. I made sure we read a lot of books about getting a baby brother/sister. I always told my son that there was a baby in mommy’s tummy and that in summertime he was going to get to meet the baby. So as the seasons changed he would ask if it was summer yet so he could meet his brother etc. We also made sure that when he came to the hospital to meet his brother that I was not holding the baby when he came in and I asked him how he was doing first and then introduced him to his brother after catching up with him.

I took the pressure off approach, asking my oldest if he wanted to touch/kiss/sit near his brother and didn’t pressure him when he said no. He said no for a good 6 weeks. I also made sure there was still mom and son time alone—albeit to the grocery store… My husband was also a huge help with my oldest, he made sure to still take him out and make him feel very special. All in all we had very little issues adjusting.
The best part of having two? My oldest son made my youngest laugh for the very first time, my little baby just LOVES his older brother—its all the entertainment he needs.

4) My labour was a horrible experience the first time around (for any number of reasons) will this one be the same?

To be honest?! I was empowered at first thinking my labour couldn’t possibly be longer/worse than with my first. Everyone told me that second time labours are MUCH shorter. LIARS! LIARS! I’m not bitter at all (ok, I’m lying), my first labour was 23 hours, epidural, episiotomy etc. My Second was 28 hours, no epidural, but both times I had second degree tearing. BUT I’m the exception to the rule. Most second timers have a fast labour, the second pumpkin’s second time was so quick, that she almost had her daughter in the ambulance, her poor hubby didn’t even make it for the birth—he was trying to arrange child care for their eldest daughter. But I also had a midwife versus OBGYN the second time—MUCH better in my opinion.

On the plus side? I recovered much faster than the first go around. I probably had the same amount of stiches etc. But I also wasn’t pre term, I had a midwife, and a private room! I was able to have a shower right afterwards and it was heavenly! I also took hypnobirthing the second time around and I had the opportunity to do a fear release exercise with the instructor because of fears I was holding to from my first labour. It really helped me put the right things in perspective.

5) My pregnancy was really bad last time around—will it be the same?

I’m a big proponent of “no two pregnancies are the same.” My first was uneventful and I had a horrible labour, my second pregnancy was event filled and I still had a horrible labour. BUT both kids were healthy. I was more active in my last pregnancy, went for more chiropractic treatments and I was able to have a drug free intervention free birth. I barely took my prenatal vitamins this time around (shhhh don’t tell anyone), I ate things I shouldn’t have (the dreaded hot dog) and my child was still ok! One thing different I did was take off from work at 35 weeks. I was scared that having had my first son at 36 weeks I was going to go earlier or at the same time my previous pregnancy. I basically relaxed all of my 36th week of pregnancy. And I really enjoyed myself those weeks off without baby and just “me” time. If you can do it, I’d recommend it. I was so relaxed and got to accomplish a lot of things I didn’t get to while working and the first time, having DS at 36 weeks was a surprise, we had nothing ready. This time I went into labour at 39 weeks 6 days, I had everything ready. It was perfect.

So the bottom line? It’s hard to have two, but the best gift you can give your oldest “baby” is a sibling. There is nothing sweeter than seeing them laugh and play together.

You know when you try to break up with someone you don’t want to hurt them, lead them on or make them feel bad. At least not in healthy relationships. Recently I left my job at a company I helped start. In every sense of the word, it was a break up. I was breaking up with my boss.  But what I will do is state simply I left for a new opportunity that enables me to grow professionally. How does that sound for impersonal professional?

When I was preparing my “we need to talk” speech in my head, it reminded me much like breaking up with an old boyfriend. Some points I will mention:

• I wanted to go somewhere public in case he had a melt down, that way if he yelled and freaked out, I’d be surrounded by strangers people.
• I didn’t tell him where I was going to, much like you never tell the ex, there is a new little somethin’ somethin’ or if you do, you don’t say who.
• I wanted to not make it an angry goodbye , or point out faults as to why I was leaving but said rather, it’s not you it’s me (remember personal growth right?)
• And lastly, I packed up all of my things before I broke the news, in case I was subject to verbal abuse. Much like you get all of your stuff before you break the news to your soon to be ex-partner.

I am happy to report that it went better then expected. Kind of like, “No. No. Really? I’ll give you more money.” But at this point and most of my career at this company it wasn’t about the money.  I have to say, I loved what I did as a recruiter.  I loved helping people find jobs that they wouldn’t have had the chance to find other wise. But nothing can last forever. It was time for me to move on and make a change.

Some points to remember when leaving your job; especially if it’s a small company. When you give notice, it’s not the time to point out faults in the owner and the business, that is what an exit interview is for (if you get one.) Remember the things you’ve learned from the company, and from the job. Remember the person who hired you and who gave you an opportunity to grow with the company. And lastly remember that you should NEVER ever burn any bridges. Even if you never want to cross them again.

The person reviewing your resume may like things that are different from what I’m posting here, so while these are my suggestions they are not set in stone.

These are the first 5 things as to why you’re not getting an interview for the job you want.

1) You only have 1 resume

When you are in any type of profession in this market you are most likely applying for different industries that cater to the same type of job you have.  That being said, if you are in IT you know that a help desk operator and a software architect are two totally different things. Just think about this, a help desk operator for a HVAC company and a help desk operator for a crown corporation may have the same duties but what’s expected from these employees is radically different.

Small companies depend on the worker bee type of employee who will wear many hats. Large corporations generally have people who all wear different hats and if it’s not in their job description they generally don’t do it.

So why is this important?

Because you NEED to tailor your resume for the industry and size of company you are applying too. Someone who thrives on creativity and being able to make a difference in the company may not like corporate America. Someone who likes process and structure might not like the small business feel. Small businesses look for different traits then large corporations.

Ask yourself where do you fit in and then ask yourself does your resume reflect that? If not, tailor different resumes to suit what you’re applying to.

Lesson: create different resumes to suit what you’re applying for.

2) You don’t have enough information

Is your resume one page? Then it’s too short in my opinion. I look at hundreds of resumes a day. AND while some people say it should fit on one page, after working for 15-20 years it had better not fit on one page.  I’m a big fan of resumes that have summaries at the top to showcase your skills I’m asking for in the advertisement but that does not mean I don’t want to know what you did at each company you worked for.

Saying that you were a receptionist at ABC company doesn’t tell me if you did A/P, scheduling or answering the phone. Tell me why you suit what I’m looking for and I’m more inclined to phone you in for an interview.

Lesson: Don’t be afraid to showcase why you’re the person for the job, be specific!

3) You haven’t proofed your resume

Ok this should be number one. Spell checking your resume is not enough. You can still spell something correctly but use it in the wrong way. i.e. Two and too, their, there and they’re hold different meanings learn the difference between them.

Get someone else to look over your resume. Make sure you’re using the right tense consistently talk about your accomplishments in the past tense. If you do use present tense, don’t go back and forth in the same job description.

Lesson: Don’t be a lazy dumbass, proof your resume!

4) Your picture is on your resume

Even Bill Gates should not put his picture on his resume.

I always thought this was self explanatory but apparently not. In North America if you aren’t applying for a modelling/stripping or pornography job DO NOT put your picture on your resume. I had an argument with friends of mine 5 years ago saying that you should put your picture on your resume and to be honest, I know that people honestly just laugh at the pictures that accompany resumes.

Lesson: If you want people to know what you look like drop it off in person but DO NOT put your picture on your resume.

5) Two words: Social Networks

I’m sure you all got an email last week about the girl who posted something negative about her job and her boss on facebook only to be fired on facebook as he was one of her friends. While it seems silly and that it may be your personal life, newsflash it’s ONLINE!!!!

More and more hiring managers will go to facebook to check someone out before they call them in for an interview. what is your profile picture, what does it say about you as an employee? What type of information do you have available to the public, is it something you want employers to see?

I currently use Xobni for email management and guess what it pulls pictures from Linkedin and Facebook from all the applicants who apply for our jobs. So if your best profile picture is you getting drunk and looking like an idiot on your profile page, guess what, your potential employers will pass on you.

Lesson: Put a normal profile picture up.

And twitter. Oh twitter. I love twitter. But you tweeting at work about how dull your day is, and how much you hate your job it is grounds for dismissal. Not only does it reflect badly on you.. but future employers will wonder, why on earth they would hire you if all you do is bash your employer.

Lesson: be careful what you tweet.

Stay tuned for part two. In the meantime, always update your resume and be smart online. You never know who’s looking you up.

While pregnant I wondered, just how would I feel about breastfeeding. I mean I know  that it’s “frowned” upon nowadays to not breastfeed, but just how would I feel.

It’s funny, that 50 years ago, formula was pushed and the breast was suppressed. Now if you do not breastfeed, there are groups (which will remain nameless) that make you feel like you’ve not done enough. That somehow you failed as a mother if you could not breastfeed your child.

The interesting thing is that when we lived in colonies of women and men things were a lot different. Babies were taken care of by groups of women, and more then likely were nursed by more then one woman. We also have the “wet nurse” in history for those  privileged people, who unless you gave birth to a boy, you were not allowed to breastfeed. Nowadays women are expected to do this on their own and not ask for “help” to often, because that means they cannot handle motherhood.

Yes, the breast has come a long way.

No longer did I think of them as a play things for gratification but as a per functionary instrument (gosh, how sexy is that???) to nourish my child.

This really did throw me for a loop.

I remember while I was pregnant, reading on baby center about women who feared breastfeeding. And I thought, who cares, if it works it works, hey it’s cheaper! Then I came across a post that said, she was worried about breastfeeding because someone told her it was sensual. Then the women bickered about it being sensual vs sexual and all that jazz, and by god it freaked the crap out of me.

I didn’t want to think of feeding my baby as sensual. What if I got turned on?

First off, breastfeeding was NOT sensual, not sexual, not intimate for me. It was a way to feed him. To make him stop crying, fussing, entertain him. It was NOT at ALL sexual. It was functional.

When I contemplated giving up breastfeeding at the end of 11 months, I was surprised I felt sad. I enjoyed my time with him in the morning, having him cuddle with me, and all that. But ask me from 0-3 months if I’d have given it up. Yes, in a heart beat. I hated it. I hated being responsible.. solely to feed my child. The fact that he didn’t sleep for more then 2 hours at a time made it darn near impossible to survive, but I did. The fact that no matter how tired I was, my husband worked and I had the boobs, so I HAD to get up. And it does get better. By 6 months, when you feed them solids it’s just so much easier to, “whip out the boob” then to make a bottle.

And ladies, lovemaking. Was. well messy.  I mean not only do you feel like a spare tire has situated across your midsection, you deal with the leaky boobs the dry vagina and the lack of sex drive. At least that’s how most feel.  I didn’t have all those syndromes stated above but I leaked everywhere. I wore breast pads until my son was 8 months old.

I was lucky my husband found my post baby body “sexy.” In turn that really helped me feel “better,” not sexy lol I wasn’t ready to jump back into my thong, those cotton panties are so comfortable lol

Oh and your boobs do NOT look the same and most often get smaller after you stop breastfeeding. This mom is petitioning to have a lift after she’s done having babies!

(I actually think his boob is not to saggy lol-lucky bastard)

My bottom line here is that if you’re freaked out about breastfeeding, I’m here to say it’s ok to be. It’s a new experience, and our society sexualizes the breasts. But It is a natural way to feed you baby. It hurts like hell for the first three weeks (buy lansinoh nipple cream!) but it is easier then carrying a bottle around with you. But with that being said. DO NOT feel like a bad mom or a failure if you stop to breastfeed. There are so many moms out there like you! Most of us were raised on formula not breast milk and i think we turned out just fine!