The breast…

Food or entertainment?

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While pregnant I wondered, just how would I feel about breastfeeding. I mean I know  that it’s “frowned” upon nowadays to not breastfeed, but just how would I feel.

It’s funny, that 50 years ago, formula was pushed and the breast was suppressed. Now if you do not breastfeed, there are groups (which will remain nameless) that make you feel like you’ve not done enough. That somehow you failed as a mother if you could not breastfeed your child.

The interesting thing is that when we lived in colonies of women and men things were a lot different. Babies were taken care of by groups of women, and more then likely were nursed by more then one woman. We also have the “wet nurse” in history for those  privileged people, who unless you gave birth to a boy, you were not allowed to breastfeed. Nowadays women are expected to do this on their own and not ask for “help” to often, because that means they cannot handle motherhood.

Yes, the breast has come a long way.

No longer did I think of them as a play things for gratification but as a per functionary instrument (gosh, how sexy is that???) to nourish my child.

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This really did throw me for a loop.

I remember while I was pregnant, reading on baby center about women who feared breastfeeding. And I thought, who cares, if it works it works, hey it’s cheaper! Then I came across a post that said, she was worried about breastfeeding because someone told her it was sensual. Then the women bickered about it being sensual vs sexual and all that jazz, and by god it freaked the crap out of me.

I didn’t want to think of feeding my baby as sensual. What if I got turned on?

First off, breastfeeding was NOT sensual, not sexual, not intimate for me. It was a way to feed him. To make him stop crying, fussing, entertain him. It was NOT at ALL sexual. It was functional.

When I contemplated giving up breastfeeding at the end of 11 months, I was surprised I felt sad. I enjoyed my time with him in the morning, having him cuddle with me, and all that. But ask me from 0-3 months if I’d have given it up. Yes, in a heart beat. I hated it. I hated being responsible.. solely to feed my child. The fact that he didn’t sleep for more then 2 hours at a time made it darn near impossible to survive, but I did. The fact that no matter how tired I was, my husband worked and I had the boobs, so I HAD to get up. And it does get better. By 6 months, when you feed them solids it’s just so much easier to, “whip out the boob” then to make a bottle.

And ladies, lovemaking. Was. well messy.  I mean not only do you feel like a spare tire has situated across your midsection, you deal with the leaky boobs the dry vagina and the lack of sex drive. At least that’s how most feel.  I didn’t have all those syndromes stated above but I leaked everywhere. I wore breast pads until my son was 8 months old. nude body image

I was lucky my husband found my post baby body “sexy.” In turn that really helped me feel “better,” not sexy lol I wasn’t ready to jump back into my thong, those cotton panties are so comfortable lol

 cotton undies

Oh and your boobs do NOT look the same and most often get smaller after you stop breastfeeding. This mom is petitioning to have a lift after she’s done having babies!

Peter's saggy Man Boob (I actually think his boob is not to saggy lol-lucky bastard)

My bottom line here is that if you’re freaked out about breastfeeding, I’m here to say it’s ok to be. It’s a new experience, and our society sexualizes the breasts. But It is a natural way to feed you baby. It hurts like hell for the first three weeks (buy lansinoh nipple cream!) but it is easier then carrying a bottle around with you. But with that being said. DO NOT feel like a bad mom or a failure if you stop to breastfeed. There are so many moms out there like you! Most of us were raised on formula not breast milk and i think we turned out just fine!

Forgetting about your children, a sad reality.

I was wasting time on twitter today (via tweetdeck) and came across this article on parents who forget a child in their car and the child dies. Lisa Belkin highlights the original article in the Washington post by Gene Weingarten about children who are forgotten in their car seats. Please, read both articles.  It’s a thought that is horribly gut wrenching but a gruesome reality.

I almost didn’t read it because every time I read something like this it breaks my heart. It breaks it for many reasons, mostly because the thought of losing my son kills me. But also because, these people who forget their children, are just like you and me. The “interesting” thing about this article is the fact that there is no demographic that stands out as the “most susceptible” to forget their child.

In the article Gene Weingarten wrote states this:

“What kind of person forgets a baby?

The wealthy do, it turns out. And the poor, and the middle class. Parents of all ages and ethnicities do it. Mothers are just as likely to do it as fathers. It happens to the chronically absent-minded and to the fanatically organized, to the college-educated and to the marginally literate. In the last 10 years, it has happened to a dentist. A postal clerk. A social worker. A police officer. An accountant. A soldier. A paralegal. An electrician. A Protestant clergyman. A rabbinical student. A nurse. A construction worker. An assistant principal. It happened to a mental health counselor, a college professor and a pizza chef. It happened to a pediatrician. It happened to a rocket scientist.”

 

I think that is what the scariest thing is. Not one person is more susceptible to forgetting. It’s just as likely to happen to a rocket scientist  as it is to a construction worker, both very different type of jobs and likely lifestyles and they can both have so much on their minds that they’d forget their child.

About a month ago people kept telling me to watch Oprah, ’cause there was this woman who’s child died in the car. My sister namely kept talking to me about this because she said, gosh I could so see that happening to me, and to be honest–I could see it happening to me too.  We get so caught up in our day to day responsibilities. Women often go through laundry lists in their heads while they drive, shop, have sex and eat. Trying to organize everyone and everything is a daunting task that so many of us do on “auto pilot.” Therein lies the problem.  We are so focused on getting things done, rarely do we find time to stop and feel or appreciate.

I know I catch myself driving on auto pilot when I’m trying to figure out a workable schedule. I know that there are times when my son is so quiet in the back, i forget he’s there. I also remember when he was first born, how I’d forget I was now a parent and there was a baby in the back seat.  I had posted this article on my facebook status and one of my friends sent me this message:

“I was very happy to see that article opening ppls eyes to the fact it is a lot of ppl that do it. Its not a “type” of person. I have always felt horrible for people who legitimately forget because I to have forgotten. I had X in the car just after I’d had him and I didn’t share with anyone until right this second because it still terrifies me. I had X in the car a friend had lent me their car so I could do some groceries. He was still really small and rear facing and he only fit behind me in the friends car. 
Well I got out at the grocery store and totally forgot to grab him. I forgot he was there I’m ashamed to say it I literally forgot I had a baby. I got ready to walk away from the car and realized my cell was ringing it was my friend she wanted to know if X had fit okay in the car. I started crying in a panic turned around really quick and opened the back door. There he was all snug and asleep. In a freezing car in the beginning of March. 

I still think about that every time I get in a car or hear a story on the news. I have told no one except my therapist with whom this incident I have had many sessions for! 
I have not droven alone with X EVER again! I probably won’t. It terrifies me. 

But it can happen to anyone! Because it happened to me, thank god only for about 2 minutes!”

 

She says that she hopes her story will make you all realize that it really can happen to anyone. But I just think back to how sleep deprived I was those first three months… I honestly don’t remember much about the first three months.  I couldn’t imagine having two or more young kids, working full time etc and be sleep deprived and then forgetting one of them in the car while trying to deal with the rest of your life.

And just how does someone get over something like that.  I think you’d forever blame yourself. The article talks about parents (both men and women) wanting to commit suicide even if it’s deemed an “accident.” I just don’t know if I could life with the fact that I killed my baby. The article also touches upon something else, that an “accident” is something that can’t be prevented.  Even if it was an accident to leave the child in the car, does that make it hurt less? No.  The article also touches upon the new safety regulations about rear facing car seats and how it makes it easier to “forget” a sleeping child in the back seat because they’re less visable.  It’s amazing how one thing creates a chain reaction of events, especially one that was designed to help save children’s lives in an “accident.”

So while this article is hard to read, it’s a very real problem. It’s happening more often and to every single type of person on this planet. No one is safe from the “perfect storm” as Weingarten coins these factors: fatigue, distraction, stress, a change in routine.  So hug your children a little longer tonight, know that you’ve made it this far. Continue to make a conscious effort to live somewhat more in the moment.  The summer season will be here before you know it, please be aware of your children in the car. I’ll take this article with me in my heart and continue to try to be a deliberate parent.  

Valentines Ideas that are romantic and won’t break the bank

Forget paying over 60$ for roses for Valentines day for your sweetie! I’m not a woman who loves flowers, to me, yes they’re pretty… but they die! Plus at this time of year they’re ridiculously expensive.

But keep in mind fella’s  that there are women out there who love flowers and expect flowers so if you are going to be buying any flowers I only have one place i recommend to you. It’s calld Dragon Fly Flowers. All of the flowers i’ve gotten from them are beactifully designed and last forever (at least in the land of flowers) so check them out! So here are a few ideas that you can make for that special someone in your life.  Keep in mind some of these take time… so get cracking!

1) Heart shaped cookie box

heart shaped box

This one I make every year. The first year i followed a recipe for a sugar cookie bottom and top, and found it really easy to break. Now I use rice krispies and it’s so much easier to just shape a heart out of rice krispies. You can then use starburst to make the ledge of the cookie box (and use icing for the glue). in the past i’ve picked out the red and pink ones and used those.  And then once it sets you decorate the crap out of it.  It always looks like a 5 year old made my cookie box (refer to my other post about my craftiness). I’ll post pictures of my creation once it’s finished!

2) The I love you because.. box heart box

This one takes a bit of time. You find a little box and you can decorate it with hearts or pictures of you and your loved one. Once you have your box, you can print out small shaped hearts and then write 100 reasons why you love them.  Then each day they can pick one reason out of the box.

3) Heart shaped breakfast heart shaped breakfast

I was at the store the other day and they were selling little heart shaped pans. So this year i’m planning on making heart shaped pancakes for my husband and my son tomorrow morning. It’s easy and cute!

4) Make their favourite dinner and clean up 

It’s always nice when a man cooks for his special lady (especially if it’s usually the woman who cooks.)  With the advent of the internet guys, there are lots of recipes out there that you could easily follow. Some of the better sites out there are, RecipeZaar and Allrecipes.  Pick something she likes (or if you are cooking for him, pick something you know he likes that you don’t eat often.)  Men, if you are cooking for the ladies, don’t make her clean up the mess!  Ladies, leave the mess until the next day and enjoy your partner! If you drink have a nice bottle of wine or Champagne, you can get many nice bottles for under 20$.

5) Let her sleep in sleep

This is my personal favourite, if I could ask for anything this valentines day it would be for a morning to sleep in, and an afternoon off of mommy duty. I guess I’m a cheap date.

 

 

The Bottom line

But most of all, enjoy each other and realize that it’s not just valentines day that you should be showing appreciation for one another. Emptying the dishwasher without being asked. Making a special dinner for no reason. Leaving a little love note in their briefcase or in my case inside his lap top, is just small and simple ways to always let them know you love them. Oh and maybe it’s just me but getting a single flower for no reason is nicer then getting a dozen expected roses.

Have a happy Valentines day!

New baby proofing changes electrical code

I was reading the paper today when I came across an interesting article about baby proofing your electrical outlets in new homes. It made me think of LipZips wordless Wednesday. Which refer to these:

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Here’s what the new code would require:

“The updated code requires new homes to have tamper-resistant receptacles, designed to prevent children from inserting objects like hairpins, keys and nails which could cause them to receive a shock.”

–on a side note, if your child is playing with nails, you may have bigger problems then them being electrocuted!

When I saw this article, I thought of these:

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Which we installed in my son’s room, but I have to say, they suck. The plugs always manage to slip out and never stay put.

“The new receptacles have a built-in shutter system that prevents anything from going into just one hole. The shutters will open only if two prongs are heading into the holes at the same time.”

These are permanent fixtures that would go on the wall, it’s designed to prevent kids from sticking more then one thing at a time in the outlet  (like hairpins, keys.. or anything metal). They also say that they’ve done research and that kids who are at the “sticking stuff in outlet age” don’t have the capacity to stick more then one thing in each side at the same time.  I’m sure there are kids out there who would defy their logic but it’s an interesting concept. At home depot, a cover that we bought was about 8$, that’s quite expensive if you’re doing your whole house, and maybe it was our old electrical outlets or our shoddy installation, but I’m not impressed with ours. Plus we only did his room.

While it’s not mandatory to make these changes to comply with the electrical code,  you can still use the little plugs for your old house. However, it was also stated that they’re not ideal.  And could you imagine, calling and electrician (which they recommend) to install these covers on all of your outlets? Maybe I’ll win the lottery so I can protect my child. But until then, it will be the little plastic things.

To read the whole article click here.

Expecting a baby?

When we were expecting, we were one of the few who decided to not find out if it was a boy or a girl. I remember going for my ultrasound at the hospital at around 21 weeks and being so curious but not looking in the “area” that i was supposed to.

It became a big thing in my family.. would it be blue or pink. Yes many people asked me to turn around, asked me what the heart rate was, was my hair dryer then usual. I had heard that carrying low, or high, front or wide was supposed to be a boy/girl depending on who you asked.

So after my ultrasound, I went on my message boards and announced.. It’s a ….. Baby!

ERIN, CARRASCO_39

Man were people miffed :) I then wrote we thought we were expecting kittens and low and behold it was a human baby! go figure!

So i thought a cute thing would be for people to guess, so I came across something called expectnet.com

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Here are the guesses from my poll called BabyC08

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Any ways my due date was March 29th.. and I ended up going into labour March 4th!  But besides my business partner I was the closest!

It lets you select if you think it will be a boy or a girl, what day, what time and how much baby will weigh. It’s quite neat. After you have baby you can update it and it emails everyone!

Happy guessing!