Pregnancy is an amazing time in your life. How many times did I hear that and think to myself, whoever believes that is crazy. I’m sorry, I was not a big fan of being pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy that my husband and I were expecting, but I just did not enjoy being pregnant. I think a friend of mine described it very well, “it’s like becoming a teenager all over again.” Your body is changing, there’s more fur where there was none before LOL —sorry had to add that one in from The Simpsons, and every morning, you look at your changing body and feel out of control of it all. Not to mention the crazy hormones that go along with the changing body, one minute you’re happy, the next minute you’re the crazy pregnant woman. I remember one time I had a huge melt down because I had forgotten my pants at the tailor’s over the weekend and had a Christmas party to go to, I even cried LOL But I digress.
First Things First… Congratulations!
Bringing a life into this world is scary and exciting at the same time. It’s almost impossible to describe the feeling. I was terrified. While our son is an amazing miracle, we had not actively been trying. Sure we charted ovulation and knew it was “possible”, but was it? Short answer yes. And it only took once! What’s amazing is that once you pee on that stick and it turns—a variety of things meaning positive, there is no going back folks. Whether you thought you were ready and now are not so sure, it really doesn’t matter anymore. It ceases to be about you, and starts to be all about your baby. Questions like: Am I really ready? Will I be a good mother? What will my partner think? What will my family think? What about my career? What can I eat? Also there are these questions: Oh no, I just found out, and now i’m worried about all those drinks I had, is the baby ok? I just read that i’m not supposed to take hot baths, and here I am sitting in one, Oops, we’re not supposed to eat sushi, but that’s what I had for supper, how’s my baby now?
If you were not expecting this pregnancy, this life is your choice but I urge you to look at this video before you make any decisions, please take a minute to watch this video:
I am all for a woman’s control over her body and before I had a child, I always thought that I was “ok” with abortion. I mean there are always extenuating circumstances but for me I never thought I could do it. There are so many people who can’t have children who would make wonderful parents. If you are newly pregnant and wondering if you could keep it please visit this link:
So ummm when am I due? How far along am I?
These are some pretty standard questions. First things first… you need to figure out the first day of your last period. Here is a standard Due Date Calculator. I think it always helps to look at your ovulation cycle as well, because some women do not have a standard 28 day cycle, take a peak at when you may have conceived your bundle of joy! So depending on how you count it, three months does not happen until 12/13 weeks of pregnancy. Some women will count that she is 12 weeks but in her 13th week of being pregnant. I know it took me a while to get that too.
For example:
My LMP (Last Missed Period) was June 21st, 2007 so based on this date, my fertile times were between July 2nd and July 7th. My resulting due date was approximately March 27th. Before you even “know” you are pregnant, your little bean is growing extraordinarily fast! When you find out you are pregnant (if you find out around the time your period is supposed to come) you are already 4 weeks along, so at that point there is only 9 months to go (yes pregnancy is 10 months long!)
Around the two week mark from your first day of your last period, your ovaries release an egg (often just one egg–they can release more then one.) When the egg is released, and travels down from your ovaries through the fallopian tube where fertilization most likely occurs. Once the egg is fertilized, it travels to your uterus and embed’s itself into the lining–this can actually cause cramping, as well as some spotting.
Will I miscarry?
A newly pregnant woman always has the same fears about miscarriage. While something’s are not recommended for newly pregnant women, most often miscarriages cannot be prevented. There are a few things you can do to lower your chances of miscarriage but sadly, there is not always an explanation for a pregnancy loss.
Some suggestions to lower your risk: cut out the caffeine, studies show that excess amounts of caffeine increase your chances of miscarriage. This includes pop ladies! Please remember that correlation does not equal causation and that it’s impossible to isolate one cause because of other lifestyle factors.
Sadly, the statistic’s on miscarriages are not always accurate because of the ones that do not get reported. But generally for women in childbearing years, the chances of having a miscarriage can range from 10-25% ( 1 in 4), and in most healthy women the average is about a 15-20% chance. It is also widely believed that if you reach your second trimester, the rate for miscarriages drop dramatically, and while they do lower you may still lose a baby at any stage in your pregnancy. Any loss of pregnancy before 20 weeks gestation, is a miscarriage, over 20 weeks 6 days it is called a still birth.
During the first trimester, the most common cause of miscarriage is chromosomal abnormality – meaning that something is not correct with the baby’s chromosomes. Most chromosomal abnormalities are the cause of a faulty egg or sperm cell, or are due to a problem at the time that the zygote went through the division process. Other causes for miscarriage include (but are not limited to):
- Hormonal problems, infections or maternal health problems
- Lifestyle (I.e. smoking, drug use, malnutrition, excessive caffeine and exposure to radiation or toxic substances
- Implantation of the egg into the uterine lining does not occur properly
- Maternal age (this can be either younger then 18 or older then 35)
- Maternal trauma
Interesting side note: some factors that are not proven to cause miscarriage are sex, working outside the home (unless in a harmful environment) or moderate exercise
An increase in maternal age affects the chances of miscarriage:
Women under the age of 35 yrs old have about a 15% chance of miscarriage
Women who are 35-45 yrs old have a 20-35% chance of miscarriage
Women over the age of 45 can have up to a 50% chance of miscarriage
A woman who has had a previous miscarriage has a 25% chance of having another (only a slightly elevated risk than for someone who has not had a previous miscarriage)
What are the warning signs of a miscarriage?
If you experience any or all of these symptoms, it is important to contact your doctor or a medical facility to evaluate if you could be having a miscarriage:
- Mild to severe back pain (often worse than normal menstrual cramps)
- Weight loss
- White-pink mucus
- True contractions (very painful happening every 5-20 minutes)
- Brown or bright red bleeding with or without cramps (20-30% of all pregnancies can experience some bleeding in early pregnancy, with about 50% of those resulting in normal pregnancies)
- Tissue with clot like material passing from the vagina
- Sudden decrease in signs of pregnancy
Keep in mind that you may have implantation bleeding during the first few weeks as well as cramping. As for weight loss, I actually lost 10 lbs when I found out I was pregnant and not because I had morning sickness badly, your eating habits just change. Don’t freak out if you see white/pink mucus again could be a sign of implantation, but it turns bright red I’d go to the doctor or emergency. Often at the beginning of the pregnancy, there isn’t much they can do to prevent a miscarriage. From all of the people in my life that have experienced a miscarriage, have told me the same thing. The doctor’s treat it like a process (I have a check list here, and i have to go through it systematically), leaving you like a science experiment gone wrong. It’s almost like their ability to empathize that you are LOSING your baby goes out the window. Not only that but you are bombarded by (in Winnipeg anyway’s) student’s (at teaching hospitals) who have little to no experience with miscarriage. They often ask you the same questions over and over again, and then if there is someone new that comes on, be prepared to go through it again. I’m sure there are some very nice doctors and nurses out there but you are a needle in a haystack when it comes to emergency room care.
If miscarriage is suspected you may be asked to take a pregnancy blood test. This test will look for levels of pregnancy hormone beta HCG. 48 hours later you will be required to repeat this test. If the levels of the pregnancy hormone have dropped, then it means that you have lost the baby. If levels are continuing to rise, you are still pregnant.
If the pregnancy is lost, they may perform a D&C (Dilation and Curettage–small spoon shaped instrument) where your womb is scraped to make sure it is clear–often performed under light anesthetic. At hospital they may give you a vaginal scan to check that your womb is clear. If something does not feel right and they send you home go see your doctor or go back to the emergency room.
What happens after the curette?
Most women bleed for five to 10 days following a curette. Contact your doctor if you experience:
- Prolonged or heavy bleeding
- Blood clots or strong abdominal pain
- Changes in your vaginal discharge
- Fever or flu-like symptoms.
Your next period
Your ovaries will usually produce an egg about two weeks after your miscarriage. Your first period should occur within four to six weeks. You should have a check-up with your doctor six weeks after your miscarriage to make sure there are no problems and ensure your uterus has returned to normal size. You can also ask any questions about your miscarriage at this time, including the results of any pathology tests.
The most important thing if you’ve suffered a miscarriage is to find a support system that works for you. This can be family, friends or medical professionals. Often clinic’s or hospitals offer wonderful support groups and I encourage any women who have had the experience of a miscarriage to seek some type of counseling. Additionally there are fantastic resources online for women who have experienced a loss. There are also many message boards that you can join, to talk to other women who have or are going through exactly what you are feeling.
The Bottom Line
Ok so now that I’ve scared all the newly pregnant women out there, keep in mind while approximately 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, 3 out of 4 pregnancies do successfully come full term. There is hope out there ladies. Even if you have suffered a loss you can successfully bring a life into this world. We may not know why we lose our little babies, but these little angles do not go on unloved or forgotten.
